It Should've Been Me
by smilingsky
Summary: When Gray saves Juvia from the dragons and Ultear doesn't turn back time, another Mage's life lost. Grief overtakes Juvia and a spell is cast. Mention of Character Death, Viewer Discretion is Advised. Rated M for mention of death.


***Author's Note/WARNING***

**There is character death in this one-shot. Please do not read if you're uncomfortable with it. Reader's discretion is advised. **

She didn't know how it could happen.

Or why it happened.

All Juvia knew was one moment she was fighting against dragons and the next, she was thrown to the ground and beams of light were sent flying through the body of a man.

The man she knew and loved so much.

Was it her scream or her tears that came running down first, she didn't know.

Everything around her went silent and she clambered to her feet, pulling his now lifeless body into her arms.

"Gray-sama, don't do this to Juvia," she muttered, her voice barely heard as it cracked. The man was just moving around with much agility and now, he was out cold in her arms. Funny, he never felt cold. "Don't do this, please."

It should've been me.

"Chelia! Please, we need you here!" Lyon yelled in desperation, barely holding back tears of his own as he looked away from his fallen brother.

It should've been me.

Her cold fingers moved over his face, resting just underneath his nose, hoping to be able to give him any form of resuscitation. A breath caught itself in the back of her throat. There was no longer a sign of life.

Nothing was going in or out of his system. No pulse, no breathing.

It should've been me.

"Juvia, we need to let Chelia treat Gray," Meredy said in a gentle voice, keeping it from wavering at the scene. But Juvia didn't respond. Even with the Sky God Slayer rushing over, Juvia paid no heed. He was gone, even Chelia couldn't bring him back.

It should've been me.

The azure eyes of the Water Mage glazed over with melancholy. Her mind shut off the rest of the world with only her sole attention on the Ice Mage on her lap.

It should've been me.

"Juvia!" Lyon yelled to no avail. She wasn't letting go of Gray and Chelia couldn't help him. Or she can no longer help him when he saw the lack of chest movements.

He was gone.

Juvia held a hand in the air, her opened palm facing the dark sky that started gathering rain clouds, a magic circle forming over it.

But that wasn't the problem.

The problem was the colour of the magic circle was not Juvia's usual blue ones.

The magic circle was dyed in a purple, almost black colour.

It should've been me.

"Juvia, stop!" Meredy rushed forth only to be repelled back by a water dome Juvia made around the two of them.

She wasn't thinking straight anymore. Correction, she stopped thinking the moment Gray stopped breathing.

She let her emotions run wild, without the man who helped her see the blue skies, she shall not see them again. Holding back her emotions to keep the rain away was no longer a necessity.

That was soon proven by the bullets of rain hitting against the ground, it only got heavier with every second. The deafening sound of the heavy downpour filled the air, no one knew if the dragons were still attacking.

It should've been me.

"Juvia, come on, don't do this," Lyon pounded against the dome. How much magic was she using to cause all these.

For half an hour, they stayed that way.

Juvia was no longer Juvia. It was only a shell holding onto another shell.

It should've been me.

It should've been me.

It should've been me.

It should've been me.

The voices of her friends' pleas were nothing but a blur.

Her Gray-sama wouldn't have died if it wasn't for her. It was always Juvia. Had she not met him, he wouldn't end up like this. Had she not been the one not paying attention, he wouldn't end up like this. Had she reacted in time, he wouldn't end up like this. Had she- he wouldn't be lifeless and cold in her arms.

Pain coursed through her entire body and a ear-piercing scream left the Water Mage's lips.

The heartbreaking sound clear despite the heavy downpour and the people kept outside the barrier Juvia created panicked.

Before they could understand what was going on, the rain stopped and the barrier became clearer than before, as if it was made of glass.

The Water Mage's porcelain face bore tear streaks but she was no longer crying.

They thought she had finally calm down only to be thrown off when the same magic circle from earlier expanded below Juvia and Gray.

"This- This Magic," Chelia stuttered, she read it somewhere before. "She's going to kill herself." Her voice ended in a whisper, frightened and terrified. This was not the strong opponent she faced during the Games. It was entirely another person.

Lyon slammed his hands against the barrier, hoping it would break like glass as much as it looked like it but it did not. "Juvia, Gray would not want you to do this! Stop! I'm begging you, please stop!" He was now sobbing, losing a life-long friend just minutes ago was heart-wrenching, if she were to do the same, he would lose it.

Meredy was doing all she can to connect to Juvia using her magic but it wouldn't work. The woman was no longer thinking.

"It should've been me," the words left her mouth in a hoarse whisper.

"What?" Meredy got closer, "Juvia, please-,"

"It should've been me." It was louder this time and they definitely heard it.

"Juvia, no-,"

Summoning all the magic she had left, Juvia drained the magic containers in her body, until everything was out into the magic circle.

A resuscitation spell. It was banned in many countries, including Magnolia. It was a form of dark magic to resuscitate the dead.

The circle begun glowing purple and blue, water forming into streams surrounding the two.

"Live, Gray," were the last words she said before the water consumed her body entirely. There was nothing but liquid melding around the area where Juvia sat.

"No!"

"Juvia!"

It was too late.

A blue light danced in the air, mixed with dark purple swirls, a sign of dark magic. Not even a sign of Juvia's existence remained, her person entirely consumed by the spell she casted. Without hesitation, the light plunged right into Gray's heart.

Glows of blue and purple flowed through his body, his heart was starting to pump again. The heavy wounds on his body were closing up and healing on their own. Colour begun to return to his skin, the sickly pale pallor was gone. A sign of life.

A sign of another lost life.

When his eyes opened, he was confused. He remembered dying. The endless darkness.

He pushed himself upright, seeing the crying faces of Lyon, Meredy and Chelia.

She must've been the one to have healed him. But why the crying? He was alright now.

Then he realized the lack of another person. The person he risked his life to save. She would've been so worried about him.

Where was she?

"What's going on?" He asked, "Where is Juvia?"

Lyon bit his lower lip, pressing a hand over his face. "She's gone." He could barely hold it together. Even after years of being a mage, going through plenty of battles, this was the hardest one he has ever been in.

"What do you mean she's gone? I saved her!" Gray yelled.

"She used a dark spell to bring you back to life! I tried to stop her, Gray! I did! As much as I wanted you back alive, I didn't want her to do that! When we realised what was going on, she was already finished casting the damn spell!"

It was too much for him.

"Juvia-, no, no, no," Gray ran a hand through his hair. He isn't supposed to be alive but he is now. She is supposed to be alive but she isn't now.

It should've been me.

—

After the war, a funeral was set for the fallen angel.

The four kept the entire incident to themselves, mainly because Meredy advised so.

If the Magic Council found out about the dark magic, not only would Juvia's sacrifice go to waste, but Gray would be kept locked up in order to remove the dark magic, which meant, he would have to go too.

It conflicted within him.

He had to keep Juvia's sacrifice a secret to save his ass.

The funeral ended smoothly even in the heavy rain, the Iron Dragon Slayer could be seen shedding tears with Levy holding on to his arm.

Many were crying for the loss of a dear friend but Gray stood stoic in front of them, for if he broke down, he wasn't sure if he could keep the secret.

When everyone left and he was the only one there, Gray dropped to his knees. The tombstone with her name on it seemed like a joke meant to torture him.

This woman tortured him so much, even in her afterlife, she would remain to torture him. She showered him with all her love and while she is gone, he would have to be tortured of being deprived of that love.

"Don't cry, it looks bad on you," he could hear her familiar teasing voice but he brushed it off as a hallucination. He had plenty of that in the past few days, haunted by the times he rejected her despite the fluttery feelings in his stomach.

"Juvia is happier this way," it spoke again.

He wasn't hallucinating. He looked around, twisting his neck quickly to find her but he couldn't find her.

"Don't be sad for Juvia will continue living on within you, Gray-sama."

A sob wrecked within Gray. He was mad, enraged, but whatever was done had been done. She loved him so much to the point where she sacrificed herself so he could live.

"You're very stubborn," he cried, "I'm so sorry,"

A pair of warm arms wrapped around his shaking body, it would be the last time he felt her around him.

"Juvia was very happy to have met you, Gray-sama. She was very happy to be able to love you and she hopes you'll be able to love someone else as much as I loved you." Her voice faded off and the warmth he felt was gone.

How was he to do that when the someone else he wanted to love was gone?

_It should've been me._

The words will forever engrave itself into his mind.


End file.
